geeze I haven't written in here in forever....lol
I look back and read all the last things I wrote and think about how so many things have changed...
I lost Andrew about 3 months ago and I still think about it alot. The other day I decided I was going to clean my myspace up a bit and get rid of alot of my comments and when I did I found alot from Andrew and I just can't bring myself to delete them. It hurts to think I'll never get another one and I don't think I'll ever be able to delete my myspace for that reason. I wish I could print them all out and keep them in a book or something.
I started talking to an old friend of Andrew's named Henry. He's pretty awesome just as I remember. When I'm with him I feel like I am closer to Andrew, but thats not all I see in him. He makes me laugh and smile and keeps me sane about 50 percent of the time...the other 50 he is making me insane lol. I really dont do anything now but hang out with kenz and sleep at Henry's.
I've had a sleeping problem lately where I dont really sleep at night and Henry thinks im turning into a vampire. It's pretty funny. I didnt sleep at my house for like 3 days, I just left around 7 and went to Henry's and slept and it was pretty awesome. lol Until Kenz decided to barg in one morning...lol. She doesnt like me sleeping in because I'm sleeping the summer away. lol.
All in all, it's been good...except for today...today was the worst possible thing EVER. Henry got into it with a few of my friends and it was really really bad. Than fat and I got into a fight that was just horrible and I hope it never happends again. Kenz and I were subject to disk golf for about 40 percent of our day and it made me feel just that much gayer...lol...Kenz and I ended up coming back to my house and swimming while blaring rap music and singing/ rapping into some water guns being utterly retarded. lol
The past few days I havent wanted to be inside for some reason. I just keep sitting outside with my laptop and smoking cig after cig thinking about absolutly nothing which is weird but my mind just seems blank. I look up at the sky and I see the polution instead of the gorgeous night sky and it makes me miss bandara. How whenever one look at the stars just makes u feel so small and minute in comparison to the entire universe. The other night there was a full moon with a ring around it and I knew it was going to bring some good around here..now I'm just waiting for it to come.
Lately My headaches have gotten so much worse. I dont say anything because I hate the doctor and I hate being prescribed pill after pill. The other night I just straight blacked out in the hall which is the best place ever to pass out I might add...To just straight bounce off a wall and hit the floor. AWESOME!! My whole left side still hurts from it. = (
I suppose im done writing for the time being...what a relief...it feels so good to just be able to sit and think outloud. lol
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